Monday, September 6, 2021

Life Update: Cat, Tats and Sexuality Chats

Hello my loves, long time no see!

I've been in a bit of a writing slump for the past month so I figured I'd just ease back into things with a little life update for you all. A small content warning that I'll be discussing self-harm in relation to my previous post about my therapy program.

Everybody meet Crumble 

So the most exciting update I have for you all, which you'll have already heard about fifty times if you follow my socials, is ... I GOT A CAT!

So this is Crumble <3 She's a three year old moggy who was rehomed for the second time with me. Sadly her first home was with an abusive man who would treat her horribly, and her second home was with a family who loved her very much, but had a new-born who was very allergic.

Crumble has found her forever home with me however, and I already can't believe how much we have bonded. I love her with my whole whole heart and I'm so grateful her old family chose me to adopt her.

I got a cat in the hopes that their presence would improve my mental health and especially help me on my bad days, as I often struggle with my bipolar II and episodes of high anxiety and self-harm. Already I can feel how much of an impact Crumble's presence has on me, when she sits on me for a cuddle I genuinely feel like I could cry, happy tears of course. This little one has become my absolute world and I'm sure she will make many appearances in blog posts down the line.

Self-harm Program and Tattoo Update

A couple months ago I posted about starting a 12 week course of trauma-informed therapy to help with my issues surrounding self-harm, the reward I chose for completing it would be two tattoos. I'm so happy to say that I did in fact complete all 12 weeks and got my tattoos! 

This isn't to say that I am completely over my problems involving self-harm, nor do my tattoos represent some sort of be all end all about never relapsing again. I am completely accepting and aware of the fact that I may face future struggles with self-harm, but these tattoos certainly represent a commitment to myself for those 12 weeks (and more) to try and better my relationship with self-harm. 

I also ended up getting a cheeky 3rd one that wasn't part of the original plan, which I've included below as well. If you look closely on my moomin tattoo (the girl with the bow) you might be able to see a small semi-colon hidden in there too.


A sexuality crisis lol

This final one's a bit of a random one to share but I enjoy yelling to the internet void about this kind of stuff. After two semi-serious relationships with men I've come to the realisation that I might not actually be attracted to them? This little revelation came about after talking to my flatmate and her friend and finding out it *wasn't* normal to be physically repulsed by anything a guy does in a relationship... lol

Of course there were other things I'd been contemplating for a while, but this chat about what romantic attraction towards men felt like for others has made me realise I don't think I've ever truly experienced *those* kind of feelings towards men.

So this has thrown me for a loop and I have a lot of stuff to try and figure out. For the moment I'm still a loud and proud bisexual, and I don't think that identity will change for a while. But as I've spoken quite a lot about what being bisexual means to me on this blog, I figured this was a necessary addition to share with you guys.

That's all I can think about writing in this update, hopefully I'll be back to some semi-regular posting now! 

Stay safe and take care x

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